Definition of Fat

Apparently I am the only one with enough free time to continue to post on the blog. Bryan has been busy studying for some "Bar Exam", whatever that means. I assume its one of those classes where you learn how to mix drinks. Meanwhile, the commish is out in San Diego living it up with the rest of the losers at Comic-Con (I assume a giant room with 100,000 nerds sweating in costumes smells magnificent). Anywho, I'm weighing in at a gentleman's 119.2, which means I'm down 28.2 pounds right now. The weight isn't melting off quite as easily as before, but still going strong.
Let's move on to the topic of today's discussion: The definition of fat. There are plenty of definitions. According to the BMI, an antiquated governement standard made in the mid 19th century, I would have to get down to 174 before I'm no longer in the overweight category. This standard has Brad Pitt listed as overweight. I think we can all agree that this is absurd. People have been referring to my esteemed competitor as "fat". I don't know if I agree with that or not. If you showed is picture (even before the competition) to 100 people, how many would categorize him as fat. People would tell me that I wasn't fat even when I was close to 250 (mind you I spend a lot of time around delusional people).
So here's my proposal: Fat is a state of mind, not a weight or a proportion of body fat. If you eat shitty food and don't work out, you're fat. End of story. Not saying there is anything wrong with that, but it makes more sense than any other definition. This also includes alot of people who wouldn't normally be in the category of fat. All of those people who can eat whatever they want and have the metabolism of a hummingbird. So I propose the following four-factor fat index. You need 3 or more points to be considered fat.

1) You weigh more than 205 pounds and are under 6 ft tall. (a seperate pro-rated system needs t be created for taller people) 3 Points.
2) You eat a great deal of junk food on a regular basis. (1 point)
3) Exercise is not part of any weekly routine. You avoid it at all costs. (1 point).
4) You're constantly tempted by food and can't stop thinking about how tasty it is (1 point).
5) Your lifestyle has led to a significant loss of functioning. This could include sweating after walking up a flight of stairs or being winded after playing a video game. (1 point).

This standard allows overweight people who have a good diet and exercise routine to not be considered fat while including people who fit the lifestyle even if they don't pack on the pounds. Based on how many points, you can add adjectives to fat such as "fat ass" or "really f'n fat". I await comments.