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The Winner's Weigh In

I just read Bryan's weigh-in post and thought I would add one that was actually encouraging. My current weight is a gentleman's 229.4. For those of you bad at simple subtraction, that is a current loss of 18 pounds. I believe that until the competition ends, we need a championship belt that changes hands whenever someone takes a lead.
In other news, we went rollerblading again yesterday and then I ate the first true junk-food I've had (a delicious kosher nathan's hot dog from Sam's club. Bryan ate one too, so I figure it's a wash. The rollerblading caused 2 new blisters. One on top of the old blister and one very close, but not touching the old blister. For you geography buffs at home, that would make the old blister South Africa instead of Connecticut (With a Lesotho-sized blister inside it and a Madagascar blister just to the East). It's thoughts like this that keep me from being successful.
Calorie count later today.

Record Setting

I went to a wedding with Laura over the weekend and as a result I set the competition record for most calories consumed in a day at about 4,500. In this post I will detail what I ate.

Friday night I picked her up from the airport. That night I ate soft pretzels and cream cheese, Bob Evans mashed potatoes, and had two drinks. 2600 calorie day.

Saturday was the wedding in Toledo. On the way down we stopped at Jimmy John's and I consumed a roast beef sandwich with double meat, cheese, and mayonaise. I also ate a bag of jalapeno chips. After the ceremony and before the reception we went to the mall where I had a large Chocolate Coffee Cooler; had to be 600 calories at least. Went to the wedding and had two drinks along with a full plate of the buffet dinner (not selectively choosing my food either) and I shared 3 cupcakes with Laura. That day would still be acceptable if I stopped there. But I went to Denny's and got the sampler with ranch dipping sauce and, of course, pancake puppies. For an estimated total of 4,500 calories. I am a fat pig.

I love Bears.

Thinking about those two days makes it clear why I need to participate in a competition. Those wold be normal days for me prior to the competition.

Prize Structure

Jay and I conferred and have come to a conclusion on the structure for paying for the prizes:

Difference in lbs / percentage paid for prize (loser paying the greater portion, obviously)

0-2 lbs - 50/50

2.1-5 - 60/40

5.1-10 - 70/30

10.1-20 - 80/20

20.1-30 - 90/10

over 30 - 100/0

I came across this picture and I had to post it. It looks like a penis, just like the trophy for this weight loss competition, except our trophy will be a real penis.

Additionally, Skipper, we have signed up for skype. I did so last week immediately after your call for action. So get ready to interview the contestants.

3 Week Weigh-in

This kind of performance would make me smash my tennis racquet, kick a basketball, throw pasta, or toss baby powder across the room.

After 3 weeks I weigh 204.8 lbs.

That is a total loss of 9.4 lbs. In the grand scheme that is good and I have been relatively vigilant regarding my diet and exercise. For this competition, though, I need to pick up the pace. I am going to start training for long distance running to supplement the rest of my exercise. I don't have any particular goals as of yet.

Exercise and Calories:

Friday 6/26- (1700) Golf; walked 18 and carried the bag

Saturday 6/27- (1500) Rollerblading for about 1 hr 20 mins; roughly 11 miles

Sunday 6/28- (1700) Calisthenic Circuits: Henceforth this will refer to a series of exercises that I do without a break in order to add a cardio element. A typical circuit that I do involves bicep curls, triceps, chest press, abdominal leg lifts, and jump rope. I do three sets of each one after another.

Monday 6/29- (1900) Golf

Tuesday 6/30- (1700) Tennis

Wednesday 7/1- (1600) HIIT and Weights

Thursday 7/2- (1500) Golf

Friday 7/3- (2600) Circuits

Saturday 7/4- (4500) Laura was in town for a wedding and we ate Denny's; no "official" exercise

Sunday 7/5- (1700) HIIT and Circuits

Monday 7-6- (1500) Rollerblading; about 1:20

RE: Multiple Questions

Gentlemen,

Still good to see you using this blogspace to air your pissing and moaning about losing weight. I'm still waiting to get Skype up and running on your end, so get off your fucking fat asses and get to it.

As for requests, it would be nice to see updated stats in just a separate post, so I don't have to filter through everything in order to see calorie numbers, etc. Also, when are we due for the next weigh-in?

Secondly, here are some answers to requests sent to the league offices recently:

1) At dinner, the waitress brought out free ravioli appetizers and refilled my pink lemonade before I could switch to water. I have a hunch that Bryan made some calls and set this up to screw with me. Do I need proof, or can I go ahead and have him thrown to the lions?

IF you'd like to investigate and see if there was any sort of foul play, be my guest. However, the league considers this competition first and foremost, meaning if Bryan did grease the wheels a bit, it's all in the name of sport. If Bryan was involved and you feel that goes against the specific rules of the contest, you must submit your complaint to the league office via courier mail within 10 days of the incident. Include pictures, signed statements and a SASE. But, I'm thinking that the logical answer is that the appetizers had been sitting underneath the refrigerator in the back all day, and the pink lemonade was actually pink-tinted liquid AIDS.

2) Still trying to determine how to set up the prize payout for this thing, any thoughts?

I think you should just wait until the end of the six months before any payouts. Price out a PS3 at the end of the three months, and both parties should submit their cash (75% from the loser, 25% from the winner) into a high-interest savings account. After the next three months, do the same with for the flat screen. If you two want to come closer on the flat screen, like 60/40, that's okay. The interest from that account can then be used as a cash bonus for the overall winner, which then must be wagered on exactly ONE hand of blackjack at the Greektown casino.

3) We need a decision on another important matter: What is the ruling on alternative forms of weight loss, especially the days leading up to the weigh in? Can we go get colonics? What about giving blood or starving ourselves? Is this a no-holds barred competition? And what's this about the office being behind. Where does our endless revenue stream go to if not for quick rulings on these matters?

While the league frowns upon resorting to unhealthy forms of weight loss, it was never considered illegal to use colonics, tooth extraction, blood-letting and/or flat out starving in order to meet weight. Consider this a weigh-in before wrestling or football. Whatever you feel is necessary to clear a win is all that matter. Also, the league office is handling several thousand other competition, not to mention a fucking REALITY SHOW, so delays are to be expected. The response time should be smaller going forward.

4) Does the severity of the injury or cause of the injury at any point nullify the contest? Please explain in an essay without using the letter P.

In a word, no. Injuries are just another struggle that needs to be overcome in order to win this contest. Short of death or dismemberment, you fuckers can just deal with it. This means you'll need to be careful when exercising, because too hard a session could cause injury, leaving you bedridden and immobile for a length of time. I should clarify though that it is against the rules to injure the jerk you're facing to the level of immobility. This means no knee bludgeoning or ankle caning. Finger-breaking and thumbs to the eyes are okay. So are GTS's, Mic Checks, Rock Bottoms and Diamond Cutters. But, if I see one fucking Kanyon Cutter, RKO or Stunner, consider yourself DQed. We're bound by Queensbury rules here.

-The Commish